I used to be embarrassed over absolutely everything. If you think I’m being dramatic, ask any boy that talked to me during my teenage years how red-faced I was during our conversations. I was uncomfortable, distressed, and awkward as all get-out.
It took multiple embarrassing moments, failed relationships, and low points for me to realize: embarrassing yourself is NOT the worst thing in the world.
They say you have to be poor to appreciate being rich? Well, I say you have to have literally everybody talking about the time you fell down a flight of stairs at a frat party to understand that life doesn’t always go according to plan.
During my teenage years I was so filled with shame. You wouldn’t know because I hid my self-doubt and insecurities behind a wall of humor and false “toughness.” I pretended that I didn’t care what anybody thought about me when that was probably the ONLY thing I cared about.
It wasn’t until I spent most of my time getting down on myself about past relationships that I realized, I’m totally in control of how embarrassed I get over things.
Want to sleep around and still be proud of who you are? Go for it.
Want to date a different guy every night, just to spend a weekend at home watching Netflix and eating a pint of ice cream? MORE POWER TO YA.
Want to have a drunken night with your girl friends and still wake up in the morning being proud of who you are, even after you threw up all over that cute guy that hit on you? HECK YES YOU DO.
It took me a while to realize this but, being the perfect girl who never gets drunk, doesn’t sleep around, and needs every single person to validate everything she does is NOT what makes you date-able. What makes you date-able is being proud of yourself for every single embarrassing moment, every flaw, and every insecurity.
I used to care what everybody thought of me. Did I drink too much? Do I look too fat in this outfit? Am I wearing too much make up? Are these boys going to judge me for saying what’s on my mind? Is it wrong to feel the way I do?
The answer is NO. And the answer is YOU ARE LOVABLE. The girl who is so comfortable with herself that is willing to make a fool of herself is the strong girl; the girl that will be able take a man’s insecurities and teach him how to laugh about them.
If a guy is intimidated by you for making an ass of yourself, he is going to find every way to try to shame you. He’ll call you crazy, or say you’re “too wild” making you feel like you’re not some ideal concoction that was created for the sole purpose of him bringing home to mom and dad.
But you are the girl who has been through it. The girl who understands that there are more important things in life than trying to impress people. The girl who stands up for herself and is proud of her choices. The girl who won’t let herself be walked over. The girl who can make a mistake and bounce back.
I used to be embarrassed over absolutely everything. But now, I am unapologetically my crazy, dramatic, and PROUD self.