When I met you, the only word I could think of to justify why you came into my life was fate. You were everything I ever wanted, everything I ever dreamed of, and you picked me. Before you, I was going through life knowing that something more was out there. I had stayed optimistic that somewhere close by, there was someone whose passion and desire to love reflected mine. I was searching for a connection greater than I had ever felt before, and it did not take long for my heart to decide it wanted you.
While it took us little to no time to realize how well our souls connected, it wouldn’t be much longer before you figured out it wouldn’t be enough. When things got difficult, I was ready to fight WITH you, but you took the opposing side. You thought you were ready to get in the ring, with me as the Mickey to your Rocky, but instead you made me Apollo Creed. You spoke of undying support, but then for whatever reason, something inside of you died, or maybe it was already dead, and you hoped I would bring it back to life. Either way, our relationship was over, I believe, before it truly began.
I knew that things would not be perfect, but hoped it would all be worth the struggle. I knew that nothing worthwhile ever came easily, but I couldn’t fight all the battles by myself. You were able to break down my walls, and help me look inside myself, giving me the tough love that I needed, but then left me on the ground, kicking and screaming. I tried to be as strong as I could; fight for you, and fight for us. But when you decided that Rocky wanted to go into it the ring alone, I couldn’t stop you.
The truth is, you weren’t ready for me to break down your walls. You had been hurt, and anyone who challenged you to be the person you could be, was kicking a wounded soldier. I am the kind of person who likes to be challenged and wants to challenge others, so I tried to take the role of the captain, hoping that each day, you would be my shipmate and rise in the ranks to become the person I needed you to be. When the ship sailed into rocky water, we sank.
It’s going to be hard for me to come back up to the surface, especially since I don’t want to do it without you, but I am going there. I might go kicking and screaming, but instead of kicking you, I’m going to use the kicks to propel me to shore. Letting go of your hand will be undoubtedly one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I can’t drown with you anymore. I will continue to love you and support you and be grateful for you, but I have carried your heart in mine for too long and it’s getting heavy. I know how much you care, and I truly believe you have changed my life for the better. If you think being on your own will make you better, then I’ll believe in you from a distance. I might not be ringside, but I’ll always be cheering you on from the stands.